


Puzzle Pieces

by bewdifuldragon



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, I don't know how this happened, Romance, help me, it just did, prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-25
Updated: 2016-08-29
Packaged: 2018-08-10 23:18:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7865374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bewdifuldragon/pseuds/bewdifuldragon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And then she realised. Maybe this was what he meant about them being similar. Maybe he wasn't telling her any of this, as such. Maybe he was looking into a mirror, speaking only what he felt in his own heart, as much to himself as anyone else.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It's all reinamycloud 's fault. See, this post happened and next thing I know, I've got a 2500+ word fic on my hands and a second part in the works. I don't even know how. I think I went into a writing coma.
> 
> Technically, I didn't follow any of the prompts exactly, but we're going to ignore that fact and enjoy the angst. I've never written anything quite like this, and I've never written for this fandom before, so...should be interesting. (Also, I did proofread, but...lazily. So if there are errors, I'm sorry.)
> 
> I'm only planning two chapters total, but I figured that I've finished the first one so I can upload it now. Enjoy and let me know what you think :D

Blood. Tears. Sweat. Dirt.

 

These were all things that a few good minutes under running water could wash away. Mikasa watched with shaking hands as the last few visible traces of her mission washed down the drain.

 

She was one of humanity’s best, so it surprised nobody but her that she should return to the safety of the walls with barely a scratch, while others had been bitten in two and torn limb from limb. Mikasa was nothing if not skilled, and her prowess and cool grace had impressed those in the military and civilians alike.

 

Unlike others, Mikasa didn’t consider her talents a natural gift. She worked hard all the time to be the best she could be, for Eren. She loved that boy with everything in her, but _God_ , could he be incompetent. He tended to idealise the world around him believing that his will alone would always be enough to save the day. Mikasa had only become a soldier so she could stay by his side and protect him. After all, he was the only family she had.

 

Unlike her all-but-in-blood brother, Mikasa didn’t have the luxury of looking at the world through rose-tinted glasses. She was a realist, and in all reality, the world kind of sucked. It was cold and cruel and unforgiving, and sometimes it bugged her that she seemed to be the only one who realised it. While her peers slacked off and enjoyed the privileges of youth, Mikasa had always stayed wise, putting her head before her heart.

 

But today, there was an ache in her chest that even her head couldn’t ignore.

 

Mikasa always felt this way after a mission. Her brain struggled with the why and wherefore of what they did, marvelling that anyone believed these journeys beyond the walls would result in anything but bloodshed and broken families. Like there wasn’t already enough of that in the world.

 

She was off-duty, and therefore decided to forgo her uniform. As she dressed, she wondered what in Earth she should fill her afternoon with – because if she didn’t fill it, surely the anger and sadness would fill her, and then she’d be of no use to anyone. She was tired and worn inside out, but rejected the idea of a nap. She didn’t want to see what she undoubtedly would as soon as she closed her eyes.

 

Mikasa settled for a walk around town instead, hoping that the presence of other people who weren’t ten meters tall and out to eat her would soothe the burden she felt.

 

It didn’t. Actually, it made her feel a whole lot worse.

 

Something about seeing all those joyful, peaceful faces made Mikasa’s blood boil. She wasn’t necessarily mad at the people themselves; and certainly not for being happy. After all, the point of this whole bitter fight was so that all of humanity could one day live in peace just like this, except on a grander scale.

 

No, she was mad at something else. Maybe it was because these people were so damn content to live in a cage all their lives. Maybe it was because she knew she’d never experience true peace and tranquillity the way these people could, even if all the titans in the world vanished right now. Maybe it was because she knew that at any second, what happened to her home could happen here; the wall could be breached, and even more lives could be destroyed – and they’d never see it coming. All those pleasant people, doing nothing more than moving on with their lives, well and truly expecting a tomorrow…they had no idea how quickly it could all be over.

 

Mikasa’s calm demeanour slipped ever so slightly, and she knew she couldn’t take seeing one more smile. She ducked into the nearest alleyway, away from the bustling marketplace, and leaned against the wall to catch her breath.

 

She knew she was being weak, and reminded herself of that as she closed her eyes and tilted her face towards the sky. But it didn’t matter, did it? Because it wasn’t like anyone was here to see her like this-

 

“Ackerman?”

 

-Shit.

 

“Corporal.” Mikasa slowly opened her eyes, but she didn’t look at Levi right away.

 

“This isn’t the most practical place to loiter, you know. It’s absolutely filthy.”

 

Mikasa raised an eyebrow. “What are you doing here?” Then she checked herself, suddenly remembering that, though she was out of uniform, Levi was still her superior. “…Sir.”

 

“The same as you, I’d imagine,” he answered calmly. “Sometimes a walk after a mission is good to clear the head.”

 

Mikasa finally looked over at Levi, and was surprised to realise that he too was neglecting his uniform, in favour of more casual attire. It was an odd experience to see the Corporal dressed this way, one that legitimately stunned Mikasa, who was used to seeing him with a cravat around his neck and the Wings of Freedom on his back.

 

“You look ill,” Levi observed, not so much sounding worried about her as he was just stating a fact. “Perhaps you should skip training tomorrow and rest.”

 

Mikasa shook her head. “I’m fine, Sir. Just a little…” Anything she said there would be akin to admitting weakness, so Mikasa said nothing.

 

Even so, Levi seemed to understand.

 

“I’ll walk to back to your quarters, then. We lost enough soldiers in the last mission; I don’t think the Survey Corps needs to lose any more just now.”

 

Initially, Mikasa wanted to refuse, to tell him that she was fine and he should continue with his day. But the look on Levi’s face left little room to argue. He didn’t look angry or anything. He didn’t even look annoyed or mildly irritated. In fact, he wore his usual apathetic look as he always did. But there was something in his eyes that stopped Mikasa dead in her tracks. It wasn’t…it couldn’t be…was he actually concerned for her?

 

Mikasa nodded, and allowed Levi to lead her through the throng, back the way she had come. He was silent the whole walk, and didn’t look at her once, but that was alright. It was a comfortable silence; the kind that didn’t make Mikasa feel compelled to fill it with mindless chatter about topics she had no interest in.

 

Most of the recruits who lived in military-exclusive accommodation shared a kitchen, but kept a few basics in their room anyway. When they reached Mikasa’s room, Levi headed straight for the tea-making supplies: no surprises there.

 

“Take a seat,” he ordered, and Mikasa did so at the desk where she usually filled out the mountains of paperwork that came with all their jobs regardless of rank.

 

Levi sat opposite her, placing two teacups between them. Mikasa reached for the one closest to her and took a tentative sip. It was perfect.

 

Levi watched carefully, and she spent every second entirely aware of his eyes on her. She cupped both hands around her tea, using it as a way to hide the blush creeping up on her cheeks; though for the life of her, she couldn’t place why.

 

After minutes of nothing, Mikasa finally worked up the courage to ask, “Why are you doing this?”

 

“Doing what, exactly Levi finally averted his constant gaze, dropping it to his own tea as he took a sip.

 

Mikasa shrugged. What _was_ he doing?

 

Levi sighed and put his cup down. “Do you want the truth, Ackerman?”

 

It was a simple enough question, but Mikasa somehow felt like it was more loaded than it seemed. So when she answered, she did so cautiously. “Yes, Sir.”

 

“The truth…” he sighed again. “The truth is, I wasn’t in the same area as you by accident.”

 

“You…followed me, Sir?”

 

“I did,” he admitted, still refusing to look at her. “I noticed you leave the compound and guessed what you were trying to do. It’s a rookie mistake, Ackerman, and I’m sure you’ve worked out why by now.”

 

Mikasa stared at her lap, fiddling absently with the fabric of her skirt. A part of her wanted to spill everything she’d been holding to her chest all this time. The rest of her knew that was a stupid idea.

 

“You can speak freely in front of me,” Levi prompted. “I suspect that, despite whatever differences we’ve had in the past, we have a lot in common.”

 

“How do you mean, Sir?” Mikasa asked, genuinely curious. Aside from the fact that they were both strong and skilled soldiers, she didn’t see that they were much alike at all.

 

Levi didn’t answer her question. Instead, he ran his fingers through his hair and groaned. “Will you quit calling me that?”

 

“I’m sorry S-Corporal?” Mikasa very clearly didn’t understand.

 

“Levi. My name is Levi. While we’re not I uniform, you can use it.”

 

Mikasa was a little taken aback. That was kind of casual, wasn’t it? She didn’t grow up with a lot of knowledge of the military, but in her time in it, she’d come to know that you were meant to refer to those ranked above you with respect. At least, to their faces.

 

“Okay…Levi.” The word felt foreign on her tongue, but kind of comfortable at the same time. She examined the man before her, noting with intrigue how unhinged he looked. Normally he was so composed, able to do everything with an air of confidence that nobody could deny. For the first time in her life, she was seeing him out of his element.

 

“The thing is, Ackerman-”

 

“Mikasa.”

 

“…Come again?”

 

She shrugged. “I wouldn’t feel right calling you by your first name if you didn’t address me by mine.”

 

Levi looked slightly surprised by the request, but acquiesced. “Mikasa. We both joined this Corps as a way to acquire something for someone else. Out of necessity, not necessarily choice.”

 

Mikasa had never, ever heard Levi speak of his past before. She’d always assumed that he joined the Scouts for the same reason as everyone else – to save humanity or whatever. Hearing him talk about it not piqued her curiosity like nothing else. It also made her wonder what made her so special all of a sudden. Or did he do this for all the recruits?

 

“You wanted Jaeger’s safety. I wanted…” He trailed off. “It’s not important what I wanted. What I’m getting at is that we’re one and the same in many ways.”

 

“Alright,” she said slowly.

 

“So I’ve got a good idea what’s going on inside your head. Undoubtedly, you’re going through the same things I am. So I figured…” He let his voice wander off once more unable to complete the thought.

 

“Sir-uh, Levi-I don’t properly understand--”

 

Levi stood suddenly and walked around the desk so that he was by her side. There, he spun her chair and put his hands on the armrests before leaning own so they were face-to-face. Finally, he looked at her, gaze locking on to those grey eyes as though he could just will her to understand.

 

“Don’t mistake this for what it isn’t,” he said cryptically, and it annoyed Mikasa.

 

“Mistake what? If you’re right and we are alike, you should know how much you’re pissing me off right now!” She hadn’t meant to be so harsh. But she was worn out emotionally and didn’t have enough left in her to deal with puzzle-solving.

 

“You’re strong,” he said quietly. “But you’re not strong enough to save your comrades. Your friends. All you can do is watch them die horribly, painfully, all alone…and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it. And what is it all for? The titans are infinite. They’ll just keep coming. You’ll never wipe them out. This world isn’t kind enough to allow that to happen. This world is cruel. It makes us terrified of death, then flaunts it at us like some sick joke. And you’re _powerless_ to stop it.”

 

Mikasa didn’t move. Didn’t speak. Barely even breathed.

 

How could he say something so horrible? And yet, it was true. Every word. He just expressed what she was feeling better than she ever could. But why did he have to say it so nastily to her face? Why did he have to say it at all?

 

And then she realised. Maybe this was what he meant about them being similar. Maybe he wasn’t telling _her_ any of this, as such. Maybe he was looking into a mirror, speaking only what he felt in his own heart, as much to himself as anyone else.

 

Mikasa was stunned. Was that why he’d followed her? Was he looking for a bit of kinship and understanding? Or did he guess that was what Mikasa needed? Or maybe both?

 

Had anyone else said those words to Mikasa, she would have slapped them clean across the face. But the idea that maybe deep down Levi felt the same as she did, that another human being could actually make sense of the chaos swirling in her own mind; it spurred her into performing a completely different action.

 

She put her hands on his shoulders and pushed, so he was standing up and not leaning over her anymore. He looked momentarily confused – until Mikasa stood too, all but launching herself at him and claiming him with a kiss.

 

It wasn’t the kind of kiss you’d find in the fairytales your parents read to you. It was the kind of kiss that could melt snow and create steam. It was _hot_. Levi responded quickly, his hands going to Mikasa’s waist, gripping the fabric of her shirt before boldly sliding under it, feeling the smooth skin of her back.

 

As for Mikasa, one hand wove itself into Levi’s hair, while the other locked around his shoulders, holding him there firmly – not that he seemed to have any idea about running away. Tongues battled for dominance, but both were stubborn and refused to let the other win.

 

Levi moved his lips along her jaw and down her neck, eliciting a soft gasp from Mikasa. She’d never been kissed like this; never even been touched this way. She kind of just figured that her life was too busy for this kind of thing. But, for someone in that situation, she sure was giving herself over so easily. She couldn’t explain it – it felt _right_.

 

“But wait,” she said breathlessly. “Aren’t…aren’t there rules against this kind of thing?” Mikasa vaguely recalled something about ‘fraternisation’ in the initial lecture all new recruits were subjected to on their first day.

 

“Oh, yes,” Levi murmured against her skin. “We could get into an awful lot of trouble if anyone found out.”

 

Levi didn’t sound like he cared very much, and if Mikasa was perfectly honest, neither did she. It was hard enough for most ordinary people to find someone who could truly say they knew what they were going through; and Mikasa was far from ordinary, as was her whole damn life.

 

 _Don’t mistake this for what it isn’t._ What she felt in that moment wasn’t love. She didn’t love Levi. She didn’t even want him. But she _needed_ him.

 

He was pushy, stubborn, uncompromising, obsessive, and an all-round arsehole to most of the people around him. And yet…and yet, he was able to give her something she craved more than she realised.

 

Eventually, his lips found hers again, and if there had been any doubt about it before, there was none anymore. She had to have him, now.

 

So she did.


	2. Three Words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ??It took me less than three hours to type over three thousand words how did that happen ???  
>  Anyhow, I'm in Attack on Titan hell and I don't even know how this story happened...so yeah. Enjoy part two :D  
> (Ps, I will proofread properly one day, I promise. My lame excuse is that I'm moving house at the moment >.> )

Heavy breathing and skin on skin. Soft moans and touches that were anything but. Kisses and whispers and two bodies moving in time, like a perfectly rehearsed dance.

 

These were the images that haunted the both of them since that night - if haunted was indeed the right word. To take comfort in another who could share in the same pain and grief they each felt was glorious, and Levi and Mikasa soon made a habit of repeat performances.

 

By day, nothing seemed off about them by anyone's standards. They trained together, fought together, and all the while addressed one another with the same respectful indifference as normal. No one noticed a damn thing. But the nights - they were theirs, and theirs alone.

 

They met in secret, when they were feeling bored or lonely, or when their cravings for one another simply grew too intense. They were, the both of them, each addicted to the other, and neither Mikasa nor Levi was willing to even try to break the habit. They were happy to get drunk off one another, and the high they felt eased their pain when nothing else could, and helped them both focus when their minds were swimming with images of death and destruction.

 

Levi came to know in time that he wanted Mikasa in every way he could have her. He wanted her beneath him, squirming, whispering his name over and over into the darkness. He wanted to touch and kiss every inch of her skin; he wanted to have her physically - and did, frequently - but his desire was a double-edged sword. He couldn't go without, and yet the more he had her, the more it wasn't enough anymore.

 

Because he also wanted her to give herself over to him in other ways. He wanted to hear her voice, see her smile, make her laugh. He wanted to look into her eyes and know that she was his; and in return, he wanted to be hers. He wanted to be around her often. He wanted her presence and her opinions and hear her thoughts and whims and ideas. He wanted her passion. Not just what she gave to him in bed, but the kind that she used to pursue all her ambitions. He wanted  _Mikasa_ , body and soul.

 

Levi knew there was a word for this kind of thing, but he couldn't place it. All he knew was that the two of them were like pieces from different jigsaw puzzles, that shouldn't fit together but somehow did. They were different yet alike. She was his perfect match.

 

While the word for his feelings eluded Levi for a good many months, he found other perks of their arrangement which stretched into his working life. Erwin had noted a marked improvement in Levi's skill on the battlefield - not that he needed improvement. Levi had told him to shut his mouth because he was imagining things; which wasn't true in the slightest, but how could he tell Erwin that, when he fought, all he could think about was getting Mikasa safely within the walls again? That his visions of living in a world without Titans were now stronger and more meaningful than ever, because now in them, there was somebody by his side? How could he tell anybody that?

 

Things settled comfortably for the first time in years, and Levi was more content than ever, healthily balanced between looking to a brighter future, and pleasantly floating through his present. He pretended with all his might that nothing could go wrong, even though things in his life tended to do just that. So when everything went wrong, to say that he was woefully underprepared would be an understatement. 

 

It was raining, because of course it damn well was. Visibility was near zero, so when Levi squinted against the gloomy backdrop, he could see very little. Not so great with man-eating monsters chasing you.

 

He took down the first and second ones easily enough, but the third proved to be a little more deft than its kin. A few close calls later and it, too, lay on the ground, never to bite into another human again. 

 

That was when he saw it; the signal in the sky to retreat. Levi lead his squad towards it, circling around the edge of the woods in the rough direction of Wall Maria's easternmost gate. Along the tree line he met Erwin and most of the rest of the surviving forces. Some were bleeding, and some were crying. Levi wondered why they had to do either of those things so noisily. 

 

"There's nothing more we can do in this weather," Erwin shouted over the rain. "We're heading back."

 

"Bu-but wait, Sir!" Of course Jaeger had something to say about it. "We're missing some people! Where's Mikasa's team?"

 

It was true: Mikasa was nowhere to be found. Levi turned his horse, surveying what little he could see. Trees, there were plenty of those. Horses, grass, the sky. Soldiers tending wounds. But no Mikasa.

 

"Eren." Erwin's voice was soft. "I saw her squad leader get pulled right from midair. I'm afraid that whole team is probably lost."

 

"Probably isn't good enough!" Eren shouted. "We have to go back in and find her! Them! We can't give up!"

 

Arlert and a few of the others chimed in their verbal two cents, but Erwin shook his head mournfully. "I can't authorise a rescue mission under the circumstances, especially when I don't know that there's anyone to rescue. It's too dangerous, even for you with your abilities, Jaeger. I'm sorry."

 

Levi had mostly gotten off this mission without a scratch so far - and yet, there was a pain in his chest as though he'd been stabbed right through it. There were many good people in that team - they were one of the most elite, hence Mikasa had been assigned to it - and as one of the commanding officers, Levi knew objectively that he should mourn them all equally. But in that moment, he wasn't objective like a good little soldier. He was very, very biased. He had to go into those woods and find Mikasa. He needed to like he needed to breathe air.

 

"Stop whining, brat." Eren shut up and spun to face Levi.

 

"But sir-"

 

"I said to put a lid on it." Then he turned to Erwin. "It probably is too dangerous for them, but I've been at this a while. I can be in, check for survivors, and out within minutes."

 

Erwin clearly expected nothing less from Levi, who was very much a no-man-gets-left-behind kind of leader. Levi knew that Erwin was too, but also that sometimes hard decisions had to be made. "You know the risks bette than anyone," he stated. "I'll let you go - but Levi, if you aren't back within a half hour, I'll have to leave without you."

 

Erwin Smith the man would never leave a place like this without someone he considered such a dear friend; but Commander Erwin Smith the soldier would, and Levi knew that he was the latter right now. 

 

"Then I'd better get going." Levi stood on the saddle and launched himself into the trees, leaving his horse and many encouraging cries behind him.

 

As he manoeuvred through the trees, his blood grew colder and colder with each dead body - or the remains of - that he came across. A bloody arm here, a severed leg there, a dead man laying face-down on the ground. Levi checked anyone with the most remote chance of being alive and had thus far come up empty. 

 

A part of him mourned silently for each victim, but the other part of him was screaming. Each second seemed to etch away at the hope he had that Mikasa was alive, somehow, somewhere, and that he could find her.

 

Time was growing short, and as Levi was down to his last shred of hope, he spotted the Wings of Freedom lying in a pile of dead leaves.

 

He landed gracefully on his two feet, and stepped over to the fallen soldier, taking them in his arms. Even in the dimness and the wet, he recognised Mikasa right away. She was bleeding from the head and chest, and had a branch lodged in her abdomen. She didn't move when Levi scooped her up and lay her down a little more carefully, and as he pressed two fingers into her wrist in search of a pulse, he was terrified. 

 

_Thump-thump...thump-thump...thump-thump..._

 

It was slow and weak, but it was there. Her heartbeat. A sound he'd fallen asleep to countless times now; but in this moment, it was more than a comfort. It was a miracle.

 

As he carefully (and with a degree of difficulty) carried Mikasa back to where the rest of the regiment was waiting, Levi let out a small, bitter laugh.  _So that's what the word is..._

 

**...**

 

The advantage of not being personable as a general rule is that, when you are more so, no one questions you. Except, of course, you closest friends who, in their own ways, try to pry out of you the reason why you're acting so abnormal.

 

Even when Hanji ambushed him after a shower, Levi insisted that nothing was more wrong than usual and told her to go away, only he was less polite than that.

 

He tried to act like nothing was out of the ordinary, even though his world was crashing down around him. Again. Mikasa had been hospitalised the second they were inside the walls, and Levi had no word on how she was doing. The fact that Jaeger hadn't gone apeshit, and that Arlert wasn't a sobbing mess, we're both good signs. But he wouldn't be satisfied until he could see her up and about as normal.

 

He could have asked, of course, but he wasn't her direct commanding officer, and therefore by all accounts has no reason to need to know her medical state. So for days he had nothing to do but sit quietly and berate himself for his foolish actions.

 

What he did for Mikasa was reckless. True, he would have done it for anyone, but in that moment, he wasn't thinking of just anyone. He wasn't careful or wise. He let his heart have its way and it's only through luck that things didn't go even more wrong. Maybe, he thought to himself, this is why that rule exists. The Legion would be thrown into chaos if everyone acted the way he had that day.

 

He heard through the grapevine that Mikasa was due to be released from hospital, and wondered how he would get her alone. Surely, after such a scare, her bratty friends wouldn't leave her side. 

 

He wondered if he should try and be sneaky, and then thought,  _to hell with it_  and found her in the dining hall during lunch that day.

 

She was surrounded by a bunch of her peers, who were pestering her with all kinds of questions about what had happened in the forest. She took them graciously, of course, and politely requested a little space. But people were nothing if not stubborn and nosy, and so a few of them persisted - until they saw Levi walk over to the table.

 

A few of them saluted, but Levi ignored them all, his stone gaze locked onto Mikasa. "Ackerman," he said evenly. "A word, please?"

 

"Sir," Eren chimed in. "She just got out of the hospital, can't this wait?"

 

But Mikasa silenced him. "It's fine, Eren. I'll catch up with you later, alright?" 

 

He reluctantly agreed and Mikasa followed Levi out of the room.

 

He led her through a series of hallways, not entirely sure where he was going. He just went against the flow of people, on the road to where he had the best chance of not being interrupted.

 

They wound up in a part of the building that wasn't used anymore, simply because the numbers hadn't called for it. But it was clean and private, so it was good enough for Levi.

 

He closed the door behind them and didn't give Mikasa a moment to speak before pulling her to him and kissing her. She responded in kind, of course, letting his hand wander over her body as he inspected non-visually her various wounds.

 

There was need and desire present in his kiss, but a different kind than normal. The need to know that everything was alright now; the desire to hold onto her and never let go. His touch was gentle because he didn't want to cause her any pain.

 

"I understand," she was barely able to whisper in between kisses, "That...I have...you to...thank...for...rescuing me?" 

 

His wandering hands froze where they were. "Is that really what you want to talk about right now?"

 

Mikasa shrugged. "Why not?"

 

He ignored the question, allowing two fingers to trace the dressing on her forehead where she'd been bleeding before. "Take your shirt off," he ordered.

 

She didn't. "You have never said that to me in a way that was less sexy. Hey-" she caught his hand. "What's the matter with you today?"

 

Levi knew very well what the matter was, and even knew how to say it. But it was a heavy word, and he didn't want to scare her off. He couldn't lose her. Not now. Not ever.

 

"Nothing," he answered coolly.  "I just want to make sure they did their jobs right. We lost enough of our forces in that last fight. We can't afford to lose more right now. I mean, you could get an infection or something." It sounded lame, to him and to Mikasa, who gave him a look.

 

"Were you...were you concerned about me?"

 

He hushed her. "Say it louder, I don't think the Titans heard you."

 

Rather than argue, Mikasa took his hand - the one still on her waist - and kissed it. Her touch was as gentle and intoxicating as ever. "I have to tell you something." He got the feeling that she wasn't whispering because he'd shushed her. 

 

"Alright," he said slowly. 

 

"The nurse told me that I was unconscious when you found me. But before that, I sort of remember what happened. The details are blurry, but-"

 

"Don't." Levi cut her off. He couldn't rightly say if it was because he didn't want her to think of it, or because he didn't want to think of it. 

 

"Be quiet, this is important." She took a deep breath before continuing. "Anyway, I don't remember properly how I got most of my injuries. It's all a mess. What I do remember is what I thought about before passing out. I was in a lot of pain and I honestly thought I was going to-" She noted the look on his face and skipped ahead. "What I do remember is what I thought about in what I believed were my last moments.

 

"I thought about Eren and Armin, and how much I love them. I thought about how far they've come, and I knew they'd miss me, but that they'd be alright  _somehow_  eventually. I thought about my family and I wondered if I'd see them again when my heart stopped beating. And...and I thought that everything would be okay. I mean, there are worse ways to die than for a good cause, right?"

 

Until this point, Mikasa had been so calm. Then she began to tremble. "Then I thought about you. Maybe it's presumptuous to assume you'd miss me, but even if you did, you're humanity's best soldier. You'd be ok. But I wasn't. Because...because I didn't..." She choked on her own words and swallowed heavily, tears forming in the corners of her eyes. Levi was silent through it all, because he wasn't sure he was really hearing this all correctly.

 

"I never told you I love you. I know that feelings were never a part of the deal, but I can't help it. I tried not to love you, but it only made me love you more. And I know that this is probably the last thing you wanted to hear because I've gone and made things all complicated now, but I couldn't die then knowing you'd never know how I feel, and I can't live now pretending it isn't true. I love you." 

 

Ah, that word. The one that eluded Levi for so long. The one he'd only just discovered himself. The one that hearing her speak brought a kind of joy he'd never known before. 

 

Mikasa wasn't looking at him while she spoke. She was looking at where she was still holding his one hand with her two, below and between them. Levi's other hand had long since dropped to his side. After a full minute of silence which seemed to drag on forever, Levi slowly,  _very_  slowly, brought that hand up to Mikasa's chin, and tilted her head so she was facing him.

 

A thousand thoughts raced through his mind and he found that he could voice none of them. Surprise, confusion, happiness - they were all present, and for the first time in a long time, he smiled a real, genuine smile. 

 

"Mikasa..." He breathed her name quietly. There was a reason that feelings weren't meant to be involved. There was a reason that Levi rejected the idea of love so hard that when it actually happened to him, his brain couldn't think of the word until it was almost too late. But he couldn't remember what that reason was, and didn't want to. 

 

He leaned in, so his lips were inches from her ear, and whispered the words so very quietly. Three little words, with the weight of the world in them. 

 

One of these days, the war would be over. Levi would solve the issues he  _knew_  he had expressing emotion, and he'd be able to tell the whole world. But right now, he could only tell Mikasa, and that was enough for both of them. Because those words, he knew, belonged to her and only her. 

 

_I love you._

 


End file.
